Wednesday, 17 April 2013

Seven things you don't want to hear - but really need to.

 Sometimes as girls we completely block out things that are right in front of our face. Glaringly obvious truths are sometimes too hard to accept, because it’s not what we want to hear. We know that guy isn’t right for us, but we don’t actually KNOW.

No matter how many bottles of wine and boxes of tissues we get through with our friends, sometimes we simply can’t take the obvious. We convince ourselves that ‘this’ is different. It’s not our friends’ fault that they tiptoe around our feelings. We all do it. No girl ever wants to tell her friend that the guy she’s fallen head over heels for is actually playing her more than he does FIFA.

But I have a friend – one of the greatest people I’ve ever met – whose honesty frankly took me by surprise at first. She sat me down a few weeks ago and said “I’m going to tell you what you don’t want to hear”… and she did.

And you know what, I’ll be forever grateful. Her complete and utter honesty made me realise what was staring me point blank in the face.

We as girls whilst trying to make each other feel better can make another girl make a heap load of more mistakes. It’s not our fault; it’s how we’ve been brought up by Jennifer Aniston movies.

But girls, it’s time to thicken that skin. So, here are seven things you don’t want to hear – but really need to.

Breaking up with someone will never feel good. This is not a Rom-Com.

It just doesn’t. There was a girl on my Facebook newsfeed a few months ago who split up with her boyfriend and they had both put a status saying how it was a joint decision. They said they wanted the best for each other and that the relationship had just run its course. She seemed unbelievably happy… Two weeks later I saw her in a nightclub toilet sobbing on her friends shoulder about it.

That guy who lied to her... Yeah, he's lying to you too.

I used to have this theory that if it’s the right girl, any guy can be the right guy. Basically, I thought guys could be nice. It’s essentially the same as “Once and cheat, always a cheat”.

Psychologically, as human beings, the more times we do something the less guilty we feel about it. It becomes normal.

     Deleting his number doesn't delete him from your life

Come on, we’ve all done it. Deleting his number to stop you from texting him – either drunk or sober. It never works, gone are the days where you could lose a piece of paper that had his house phone number on. I once went through a stage where I deleted my exes number so often, I’d actually accidentally memorised it from it popping up all the time.

Even if he doesn’t text you, iPhones still remember contacts – so if you typed in their name, it would still come up. Why iPhone, WHY?!

     Drunk words DO NOT speak a sober mind.

Receiving a drunken call at 4am doesn't mean you are special to him. It means he's exhausted all his other options and he wants someone to care about him and give him compliments. And at that time in a morning he will tell you anything you want to hear just so you will talk to him on his long walk home from the kebab shop.

It’s a huge misconception that people tell the truth when they’re drunk. I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve told DJ’s it’s my Birthday to get free champagne.

There’s a reason he seems to ‘forget’ to text you the next morning.

     If a guy wants to talk to you, he will talk to you. No exceptions.

Everyone has 2 minutes. Everyone can sneak out of work, text under the desk or call from the toilets. If I really want to speak to someone, I will speak to them. I’m sure the place where I used to Waitress thought I had bladder problems because I used to go to the loo so much.

Fair enough, if you can’t use you’re phone all day, you have no battery or you’ve fallen off a cliff edge, texting back might be a problem – but in nearly every circumstance, if he’s not talking to you – it’s because he doesn’t want too.

    You can’t be “friends” with your Ex.

Maybe I’m alone on this one because I’ve never been able to do it, but I’m sorry you can never just be “friends” with someone you felt that much for. People get back with their Exes all the time. I’m not saying that if the guy you’re seeing says “Hi” to his Ex on the street, or chats with her occasionally that they’re still passionately in love, but who are we kidding…

     If you're still Facebook stalking him, you're not over him

If there profile comes up as soon as you type in the first letter of their name – it’s time for some home truths.

The other day I looked up Chef Boy and whilst it felt good to see that he know had boobs to rival my own – I had a small internal argument with myself as too whether I had done it to see if he was okay, or because I missed him.

I realised that I obviously wasn’t over the situation… not so much the relationship, but the way it ended. (He’s a scumbag)

Another thing that you probably don’t want to hear is that you’re worth more than how he treats you. It’s not okay to feel the way he makes you feel…You are special.

Live. Laugh. Love