Last week me and my friend voluteered to sell poppies. A task which involved walking round the entire school shaking a donation box, being offered 2p for five, and defending ourselves from insults the year 7's threw at us. I also felt reluctant to give up my break and lunchtimes as I am yet to finish my personal statement for my university applications, a task which I find incredibly difficult as all I seem to be able to do is take the piss out of myself. I don't know how I am meant to make a University believe in me, when I don't particularily believe in myself.
Anyway, as me and my also ginger friend (you don't see that very often now do you?) were walking round the school, shouting like we were on a market stall, we recieved a bit of abuse from a year 10 who I find particularily terrifying . Now I dont know if you know that you can no longer get pins for poppies when you buy them from a school. Well this was the reason me and my friend weren't wearing one as we had no way of fastening it to ourselves and, as we expected, it was commented on. The lad (who you wouldn't want to meet down a dark alley) shouted, ''I'll buy one when you wear one!''. Although me and my ginger friend both ran off at this point, with scarlet faces and shame that someone 3 years younger than us had made us look stupid, I thought it was a valid point.
Why do we persuade people to do things we don't do ourselves? Why do we make people believe things we are not sure of personally? And how are we meant to justify doing something when the person telling you to do it, wouldn't do it either?
This made me think of my personal statement and asking people to give me a chance. Why do I think that by someone giving me the oppurtunity to achieve, it will make me achieve? Only I can make myself achieve and only I can believe in myself enough to get others too aswell.
Basically what I am saying is, people only believe in people who believe in themselves (try saying that with a mouth full of biscuits). I don't think there are many actors who walked into the audition for the part that made them famous, without believing that they could do it. Although the people on X-factor annoy me, every single one of them believe that they can win, otherwise they wouldn't be there. I think self-belief is sometimes percieved as arrogance, just look at Katie Weasel... sorry, I mean Waisell. People are publicly bashing her because she is not giving up on the oppurtunity that has and will change her life, and just because she has had small careers before being on X-factor doesn't that just show her ambition? Just because people aren't scared to reach for what they want, does that mean they think they are better than anyone else? No. It means they believe in themselves, and this should not be confused with arrogance.
Now there are people who are down right arrogant (including the year 10 boy) but I just get scared and run away from them, or make a joke about my ginger hair, which seems to be my defence mechanism nowadays.
Unfortunatly, I am still struggling with my personal statement, and when I finally get it done, I have strong feeling my application will be tossed aside therefore not getting me into University. But, oh well, it won't be the worst thing to write blogs for the rest of my life. To be found dead at 60, with a half drank bottle of wine, a strange hairline I seem to have these days, 'Murder She Wrote' on repeat, an unfinished blog, and a my face half eaten my 2 cats, Salt and Pepper. ( I really have thought about this too much)
On that note, I will leave you with some lyrics from the theme tune of a kids show, that I am embaressed to still know off by heart.
''It's a simple message and it comes from the heart.
Believe in yourself, well thats the place to start.''
I apoligise for the break in blogs, I've been swamped by coursework and not been feeling great. But luckily for you, you have 40 more years of my blogs about failed dates, and bad days you lucky, lucky people. Also I am really sorry for the particularily bad spelling and grammer, I accidentally deleted my word processor, and googling every word that you can't spell is time consuming.